Goodness in the Land of the Living

"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!  Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord."

Psalm 27:13-14

I remember exactly where I was when I read these holy words.  I was in a parking garage at the University of Cincinnati Hospital, and a good friend had just texted me those verses. I was reading alone in my wife's car, because instead of being by her side at her doctor's appointment, I was forced to wait alone due to covid restrictions.  Wait.  I felt like that was all we had been doing lately. 

"The doctor would like another ultrasound", so we wait. 

"We would like to schedule you to see a high-risk doctor," so we wait. 

"Your son has a congenital heart defect, and we're going to be transferring him to Cincinnati Children's hospital," so we wait. 

"I'm sorry sir, but you can’t come in the building at this time," so I wait.

I'm reading verse 14 and thinking, "I'm waiting on you Lord, but I’m not feeling strong, and I’m not feeling courageous." I felt impatient, afraid, and alone.  I prayed that God would give me the strength to take heart and be strong, but it seemed futile.  I was sure any feelings I might have of strength and courage would just be hollow, and an attempt to put on a brave face to bring my family comfort.   I wanted God to produce this strength in me that was a "pick myself up by my bootstraps" kind of strength. I wanted that confidence that I could face anything because I knew God was by my side.  I knew that He was, I really believed that, but I didn't feel the strength or courage, I was just so worried and afraid. 

Weeks later, and countless times of reading through the final verses of Psalm 27, I began to see why my friend had sent me the last two verses, instead of just verse 14.  I was skipping over verse 13 and rushing to the strength and courage of verse 14.  Slowly, I began to see the strength and courage of the Lord was seeping into my life as I began to read, and believe the matter of fact declaration of verse 13.  I believe  that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Or in other words, I am confident that I will see your goodness God, right now in this life that I am living.  Not on some distant shore one day in heaven, but right now.  Right in the middle of the anxiety and fear of waiting. 

It was during one of those “parking garage, waiting room” moments that I met the soon to be grandmother of a little boy with a heart defect similar to Simon's.  Her daughter, who she was waiting for, was also named Rachel, just like my wife.  Her daughter's due date was the same day as ours.  It wasn't long into this six foot distant conversation that we both began to talk about our faith in Jesus, and worried as we were, He was seeing us through.  We exchanged numbers, prayed for one another, and instantly we both had a friend who knew exactly what the other was going through. 

Goodness in the land of the living. 

Now I know that moment of goodness is very specific to myself and my family's situation, but by reading the entirety of Psalm 27 I started to see that there is much more goodness that I have access to. Goodness we all can have access to. 

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? (Psalm 27:1) God has saved me, He paid such a high price for me.  So why should I fear anything?

Goodness in the land of the living. 

"Though the war rise against me, yet I will be confident." (Psalm 27:3)  The salvation I have in Jesus leads me to live a life of humble confidence.

Goodness in the land of the living.

"For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble." (Psalm 27:5) He is with me, right now in my trouble and trials.  I am never alone.

Goodness in the land of the living.

"The Lord will take me in." (Psalm 27:10) God accepts me, and wants me. 

Goodness in the land of the living. 

Even though we may be waiting we can have the goodness of the Lord now, even in the midst of hard times.  When we ask God to help us see his goodness, little by little, strength and courage will come.  But it wont be from any “pull on our own bootstraps.”  It will come from seeing the goodness of God around us.  We just have to be willing to look for it.